I Can't Believe It's Not Shakespeare

it’s tony time again, and when i skim over the list of nominees this year and realize that i have seen… well don’t worry about what i’ve seen. that’s when the guilt begins.

Still from REASONS TO BE PRETTY, a show I haven't seen

it’s not atypical for me to be the sort of oblivious one in a group of theater people. in college, my excuse was – hey. i’m broke. even with that substantial student discount, a broadway show cuts significantly into my food-and-book budget for the week. besides, who has time to wait on line for a play when i have an exam in sex, politics & the renaissance in my imminent future?

these days, i have a day job, a tdf membership, and no more exams (alas.) but the story’s about the same. not only have i not seen shows, there haven’t been very many shows i’ve really wanted to see. i got no choice now but to really examine my less than admirable behavior.

Here comes the gritty truth:

How the heck i’m supposed to write my own plays when i’m traipsing up town to see Shrek: The Musical?

listen: for better or for worse, i’m still pretty much the same person i was at NYU.  I love working.  if anything my tendency to hole myself up in my room and pound the keys right through dinner time has only intensified.  on my more arrogant days, i have delusions of shows like this year’s nominees poisoning my mind. this is broadway. the establishment. i don’t want to become broadway, i want to become something else. i want to innovate. i want to bring in new audiences. i want to become an iconoclast – an effing rock star of new comedy.

i deflate a little. i mean. What do I know?

fact of the matter is, there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  my hermiting aside, i do try to see shows – smaller shows, off-off broadway shows, stuff my friends are doing.  i love to see what’s new – really new, unpolished, less than perfect.  these are the performances that motivate me to go home and keep writing.  these are the shows that make me want to work on a small theater company of my own, and i believe these are the young new voices that are gonna change everything.

of course, there are days when i’m sitting around a table of writers, awkwardly trying to have something to say about a world that i’m less than fluent in that i start to doubt that i’m managing my time efficiently. am i doing myself a disservice as a writer by not seeing the (supposed) best that new york has to offer? it’s possible. but until the days of the day-job are finished, i don’t mind missing out on a few tony-winning performances if it means still finding time to do work of my own.

- j.