I Can't Believe It's Not Shakespeare

Note the smoldering glance. Sigh.

Here’s the thing, we’ve already discussed some of the reasons why we don’t see the big shows, but probably my personal biggest reason is the cost. I love Dolly Parton. I have been known to drunkenly declare that my greatest desire is to be the Dolly Parton of theater (Yes, now that she is in theater, I definitely need a new aspiration.) Anyway, there’s no way I can afford 9 to 5. I have to eat! I have to save up for some Air Yeezys!

But next week begins Shakespeare in the Park! If Broadway represents one half of our American identity, the product-based, consumer-driven Lady Capitalism, then Shakespeare in Park is her intrepid, homely sister Democracy. Once a year we pretend these ladies don’t hold an epic resentment for one another and can cohabitate our great city. Like any Democratic endeavor, The Park doesn’t care if ye be rich or poor, young or old, able-bodied or differently-able-bodied, black or brown or white; you are all welcome into her Delacorte. Though they do offer guaranteed tickets for generous donors, have great handicap accommodations and as well as special days where they do outer borough ticket distribution at places like El Museo del Barrio.

But for us! Those of us of median income and courageous heart, the backbone of America, we have the tremendous opportunity to wait in line for hours and hours in the lovely New York City summer for free theater. Much like the pilgrims endured the months at sea for the promise of religious freedom or like the pioneers loaded up their wagons to hazard the Oregon Trial for gold and land, so, too, will we wait for Shakespeare performed by Anne “In My Opinion Her Goodwill Earned from Princess Diaries and Ella Enchanted Will Never Fade” Hathaway and Raul “Curiously Sexy…Oh and DIBS!” Esparza.

Now whether you’re a seasoned line-waiting veteran or if this will be your first attempt there are definitely some things you can do to ensure you nab those limited tickets. LIST! (more…)