With a busy schedule and a near-empty wallet, it’s almost impossible for me to check out the countless number of shows going up here in New York (and all over the world, really).  Thus, I rely on the detailed reporting of The New York Times, The New Yorker, and occasionally Variety, to keep myself up-to-date with what’s coming, going, and what might be taking the art in a crazy new direction (I originally wanted to post about this, but may hold off til I see it/it blows my mind).

The rest of this post doesn’t really fall into any of those three categories.  Instead, it just made me laugh, and it’s worth a share if only because such ridiculousness can nab you a headline (applicable!).

This month, none other than Jerry Springer concluded a run as Billy Flynn in the West End production of Chicago, and he may take over the role on Broadway.  Yeah, that Jerry Springer.  According to The Times article, Jerry really identified with Flynn, and with an impressive stint on Dancing with the Stars, it wasn’t long before the producers roped him in.

You can’t beat stunt casting.  Or just making weird choices.  Any publicity is good publicity.

To continue this silliness (and hopefully inspire some desperate producers), here are my picks for other talk show hosts who could use a stint on stage:

1. Barbara Walters stars in “MAME” – If working with all the other women from “The View” hasn’t made Barbwah crazy enough to play Auntie Mame…well then maybe she shouldn’t and we’ll just get any of ther other women.
2. Maury Povich stars in “HAIRSPRAY” - Maury has that creepy old Wilbur Turnblad kind of vibe.  Also, he’s great with race relations.  I wouldn’t mind seeing an added scene where Wilbur attempts to discover the real father of Penny Pingleton’s child.  Seeeeaweeeeed?
3. Rachel Ray stars in “MARY POPPINS” - Rachel Ray is practically Poppins already: she has magical powers like talking fast than the speed of light or jaws that allows abnormal amounts of smiling, she makes cooking fun, and her husband probably makes her sing every night (and not just because he’s in a rock band…zing!)
4. Bill O’Reilly stars in “1776″ – It’s time to America back to Broadway.  And who better to wipe the the stage clean of left-wing hippie scum than Bill, in his triumphant take as John Adams.  In fact, I think he could play any part.  In FACT, let him play all the parts.  Bill O’Reilly is “1776 by 1″.  He also plays the flag.
5. Jimmy Fallon in “Shrek: the Musical” – Then maybe it’ll close.

See, wouldn’t this make theater so much better?

Reflecting on my own artistic trials got me thinking of the weight on other people’s shoulders, which in Sunday’s case, will be my own.  In a perfect world, a Sunday morning reading would involve me kicking back, sobering up from the previous night, and awake enough to bring up random plot points in the talkback discussion.  While this may end up being true pending Saturday night’s activities, I’m feeling my own pressure: a responsibility in helping another show get off the ground.

Everyone involved in a reading has to be cautious.  The presenter has to be open, they have to take criticism, they have to think outside the founded ideas of their play while at the same time sift through comments that take the play in the wrong direction.  It’s a tough balancing act.  The audience is in the same boat.  You have to be gentle, but not easy.  You have to watch actors with little to no preparation tackle someone’s work, and you’re not allowed to dock points for poor performances.  It’s about extrapolating and divination, forseeing what the product would be like on stage, or how it could be if “x” was different.

Woof, I’m exhausted already.

But, it’s also a heck of My favorite part of working in theater and film is conceptualizing and tinkering with my collaborators.  There will be one image/character/action/moment and all of a sudden everyone’s barreling in a different direction.  It’s that flexibility, or that need to be flexible, that makes the collaboration of a reading both stressful, visceral, and exciting.

Whenever someone in my family needed to be adaptable, my Dad would always say “be a Gumby.”

Can’t argue with that logic.

It’s that time of year again: yes, this Sunday almost every television in America will be tuned in to reruns of Survivor…while eight of us and our grandmothers watch the Tony awards.

Since you’re local workplace is *obviously* having a Tony Awards pool, I thought I’d chime in with some of my picks for the winners.  Although you may consider all putting your money together and paying your electric bill, since the only workplaces with Tony Awards pools are dying theater companies.

Oh Economy!

BEST ACTOR IN A PLAY

We got some big names in the mix: Jeff Daniels, Raúl Esparza, James Gandolfini…but Geoffery Rush is taking this cake home for Exit the King.  I mean, he already picked out what he’s wearing to the ceremony and it’s quite reflective of his confidence:

Photo provided by Exit the King on Broadway

BEST ACTRESS IN A PLAY

Will front runner Janet McTeer take home Tony gold on Sunday? No. That plays about Brits, who’d vote for that crap. Instead, watch out for Jane Fonda in Moises Kaufman’s 33 Variations. I mean, I’m getting uppity just looking at her grind up against Beethoven.

"33 Variations" Photo provided by The New York Times

Best Actress in a Musical

Actual *acting* + singing = GOLD. Alice Ripley from Next to Normal, please kick Shrek and Fiona while laughing your way to the stage on Sunday.

Alice Ripley in "Next to Nothing"

Oh, that reminds me.

Best Actor in a Musical

I wonder why people don’t take musical theater seriously?  Wait, I know.

Because it’s SHREK.  On BROADWAY.  And yeah, I’m about to give props to a musical based on a movie, but here’s what Billy Elliot has that Shrek the Musical doesn’t: class.  And here’s what Shrek has that Billy Elliot doesn’t: fart.  Lots of farts.  Can’t wait to see the three kids get their chance to dance circles around this guy.

Best Play

"God of Carnage" Photo provided by The New York Times

Unfortuantely, I haven’t had a chance to see this much-hyped play, but with the power each of these actors can deliver (especially the ladies, can’t imagine seeing these two go off), it can’t possibly be that bad.  And by that, I mean better than Impressionism.  And I swore after watching The Wicker Man and meeting a girl from NYU who dated the guy, that I could never route for Neil LaBute again.  Sorry dude.

Best Musical

"Billy Elliot" Photo provided by The New York Times

Next to Nothing may be able to pull a Avenue Q-esque sneak attack here, but I think you’re better off voting for good ol’ Billy Elliot.  Great story, great talent, and some decent tunes are all it takes to stand out on Broadway these days, and this show is obviously shining.  Stephen Daldy knew this show inside and out by the time it reached our shores, and it’s given the story unlikely legs in this country.

Enjoy the limited round-up and remidner that Dreamworks Animation is slowly killing off theater as we know it.  I bet the [title of show] people looooooove Shrek.

Now, for God’s sake somebody get me tickets to these shows.

Green Theater

It was recently announced that major construction on Henry Miller’s Theater (the first new Broadway house in 20 years) is finally set to open in September with a production of Bye Bye Birdie.  The bigger news: it’s an all green performance space.  With walls made of recycled material, waterless urinals, and local materials making up the marble flooring, all that’s missing is a giant light board-powering hamster wheel (you know, because actors love running on hamster wheels).

While the construction effort has been a big step for the green movement in the theater world, I wonder, is it enough?  Whether or not Roundabout Theater Company chooses to maintain their green standards for productions, it’s important for any theater company to be ecologically conscious and Earth-friendly.  It may cost an extra penny (and even a penny makes and theater producer sweat), but with a few ground rules, it’s easy for a production to leave it’s green thumbprint.

A few ideas after the jump.

1.  Only accept digital headshots.
I know you think you look cool walking around with your binder of headshots, deciding the fates of actors everywhere…don’t be that guy.  Stick to digital headshots and save the paper.

2.  Print on used paper or double-sided when you can.
So you accidentally printed 30 copies of the wrong document.  There’s a silver lining: flip it over and print new pages.  Don’t let precious paper go to waste!

3.  Most trash serves a second purpose.
Give everything a second glance.  Most likely what you’re about to throw away might make the perfect prop/set dressing/storage device/hat.

4.  Design for disassembly.
If you’re lucky enough to have a set (and you should be, you can put *something* together), find a way to save your supplies.  Use screws and nails and anything else that can easily come apart.  It’s the set for your next show too.

5.  Collect other people’s garbage.
I had a friend who needed over 50 empty beer bottles for a scene.  Yes, he could have bought them, but instead, he sucked it up and sorted through people’s garbage.  Sometimes you have to be that guy.  Save money and use less.

6.  Ban Styrofoam.
This isn’t about dignity here folks.  Buy some plastic cups for your free wine and clean’em out afterwards.  We won’t think less of you if you’re trying to save the planet.

7.  Keep everything, you’ll use it again.
But that’s pretty much a given, isn’t it?

It also doesn’t hurt to use green as a way of promotion.  All green production?  Good for you!  People might want to promote you for that hard work.

For other tips on going green, check out this blog which I unfortunately found after writing this post: The Green Theater

They also have a really cool calculator to tabulate your carbon footprint: Check it out!